Can We Just Talk: Fully Known & Deeply Loved

February 23rd, 2020/Pinewood Church

Intro: Every person on earth has two foundational emotional needs:

To know and be known, and to love and be loved

Story: Wedding Day

Early in our relationship we would talk for hours and hours. Sometimes we would even fall asleep on the phones because we just couldn’t hang up! *ahhhh

The driving force behind those hours and hours of phone calls was because we both had a deep desire to be known and loved. We talked about everything from what we ate that day to what our dreams are 50 years down the road. Nothing was trivial!

It all came to a pivotal moment on our wedding day. The music was playing, the brides dress was flowing, it was all the magic one could handle is a moment. Instead of looking regal and classy, I was sobbing. Sure there was excitement there, but it was much more than that.

The emotions I felt were a mixture of fear, joy, commitment, anxiety, and much much more! The reality of spending the rest of my life getting to know of love this person carried significant weight and I felt it all in one single moment.

Transition: I want to look at some Scripture today to help put some handles on what it means to be fully known and deeply loved.

Passages:

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known.” - 1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:12‬ ‭CSB‬‬

“We love because he first loved us.” - 1 John‬ ‭4:19‬ ‭CSB‬‬

Pray:

Title: Fully Known & Deeply Loved

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.” - Tim Keller

Main Points: How to be fully known and deeply loved

1. Receive (You can’t earn or achieve this)
   1. Known By God / Security
      1. “For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well.” - Psalms 139:13-14 CSB
      2. The one that matters most, knows most. Would you agree with that statement? *Say it again

      3. Question: Who knows the most about your life? Who knows you best? Who knows the deepest and most intimate thoughts in your soul?

         1. God - He created you and walks with you. You cannot tell God anything about yourself that He doesn’t already know. He is intimately acquainted with your shortcomings, thoughts, frustrations, triggers, and habits.
         2. Self - You’ve known you the longest :)

         3. Others - They’re getting to know you. Even your spouse is still getting to know you. 4. You are fully known and not alone!

         4. Question: Have you ever felt like nobody understands you? If only one person could see me in this season then this burden would feel so much lighter!

         5. You are fully known and yet he is always with you! This reality is something that for many of us is hard to grasp. Yet once we embrace this truth it changes everything.
         6. He is with you in the hills and valleys, in the dark moments and the highlights, through seasons of deep grief and in seasons of great celebration.

         7. This brings so much security in our lives. 5. xBeing known by God is grounded in truth, feeling known by God is built on trust; Trust is built on time, transparency, and truth.

         8. Being known and feeling known are two different things. You are known, but how do you feel known by God?

         9. Story: Jess sharing with me about her grief journey… “I just want you to know where I am and what I’m going through…”

         10. Be honest with God with your emotions, doubt, and fears. Being honest about your relationships. He already knows and He’s not going anywhere!

             2. Loved By God / Hope
                1. “God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his one and only Son into the world so that we might live through him. Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:9-10
                2. Gospel = Everything changes at this moment. John 3:16.
                3. Jesus came to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Our sin doesn’t make us bad or immoral people, they make us dead! And Christ came so that through His life, death, and resurrection, we might have life and receive His love!
                4. God doesn’t love you because you are good or better than someone else, He loves you because He is love!

         11. Illust: College. Every other atmosphere you find yourself in there is a pull toward earning love, or gaining favor, or fighting to be known. 5. I said earlier that every person on earth has two foundational needs: To know and be known, to love and be loved. The statement is better when said… You are known, therefore you can know. You are loved, therefore you can love. You are fully known and deeply loved today. This is foundational to everything else.

         12. Respond (This is your responsibility)

             1. Know & Love God / Foundation
                1. “Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.” - Matthew 22:38
                2. There’s an order to follow. God, self, then others.
                3. Illust: Draw the graph

         13. Known/Loved by God (Foundation)

         14. Know/Love God (Security)
         15. Know/Love Yourself (Identity)
         16. Know/Love Others (Purpose)

         17. Known/Loved by Others (Community) 4. “As deep as you go is as high as you’ll grow.”

         18. Some of you are expecting 200’ tall trees with 2” deep roots.

         19. Don’t settle for 2” roots when God has given you everything you need to dig to 20’ deep.

         20. Wherever you feel stuck, dig deeper until God takes you further. Follow the order and trust the process. Digging deep requires time, transparency, and truth.

             2. Know & Love Yourself / Identity
                1. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” - Matthew 22:39
                2. You can’t expect what you don’t inspect

         21. Questions: How well am I loving myself? How well am I taking care of my body? How well am I taking care of my mental space? 3. You can’t expect what you don’t emulate

         22. Questions: In what ways am I loving myself as Christ loves me? In what ways am I loving myself the way God has called me to. 4. If you can’t love yourself then you’ll always struggle to fully love someone else. I can’t give that which I don’t have. 5. Healthy relationships are made up of healthy individuals. 6. Story: This is something I am currently working through in my own life.

             3. Know & Love Others / Purpose
                1. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” - Matthew 22:39
                2. Illust: Phone to the person on your right

         23. Question: Is there people in life that you can hand your unlocked phone to and trust them?

         24. To love others is to trust others. Trust others with your secrets, hurts, and future.
         25. If you’re not willing to hand someone your phone, then at what level are you willing to love and trust others around you. 3. Accountability Group
             4. Loving self apart from knowing God leads to insecurity and ultimately a crisis of identity 5. Loving God apart from knowing self leads to a false sense of identity and a crisis of security 6. Loving God and knowing self leads to security, identity in Christ, and fulfillment.
         26. Reflect
             1. Known & Loved By Others / Joy
                1. When your goal is to reflect what’s temporary, then when it is gone you will be empty, even while it is there you will still feel unsatisfied. But when you reflect the love and character of God, then you find joy, purpose, and fulfillment.
                2. “I’m just trying to reflect that which I received.” C’mon! How many of you know that the good you see in me is my Father in Heaven?!

Closing:

Every person on earth has two foundational needs:

To know and be known

To love and be loved

The statement is better when said...

You are known, therefore you can know and be known

You are loved, therefore you can love and be loved

You are fully known and deeply loved today.

Song: Known by Tauren Wells

(Verse 1)

It's so unusual it's frightening

You see right through the mess inside me

And you call me out to pull me in

You tell me I can start again

And I don't need to keep on hiding

(Chorus)

I'm fully known and loved by You

You won't let go no matter what I do

And it's not one or the other

It's hard truth and ridiculous grace

To be known fully known & loved by You

I'm fully known and loved by You

(Verse 2)

It's so like You to keep pursuing

It's so like me to go astray, ooh

But You guard my heart with Your truth

The kind of love that's bullet proof

And I surrender to Your kindness,

(Chorus)

(Bridge)

How real, how wide

How rich, how high is Your heart

I cannot find the reasons why

You give me so much

How real, how wide

How rich, how high is Your heart

Now, I cannot find the reasons why

You give me so much

(Chorus)

(Closing)

I'm fully known and loved by You

It's so unusual it's frightening

I'm fully known and loved by You