Wedding Thoughts and Tips

1. So much of this day revolves around the bride. The groom is a really close second and nobody else matters. If the parents or anyone else is giving the bride or groom a hard time, you step in and have their back.
2. You will be looked at as the one to have a plan. When nobody else knows what to do, even when they have a wedding planner, give everyone the plan. Communicate clearly, calmly, and with a smile.
3. Be the calmest person in the room and look for ways to create moments. I always have the groomsmen surround the groom in the room before they go out and pray over him. And I have the dad and best man put hands on the groom's shoulders, and I pray.
4. Speak clear and loud so that everybody can hear. This is one thing that I see a lot of pastors do wrong. People in the back of the room want to hear what you are saying and often the mic is either too low or glitchy.
5. During the actual ceremony, make sure to keep steady eye contact and focus on the bride and groom. They are already nervous and you making eye contact with them with a calm presence will put them at ease.
6. Don't rock side to side or fidget your hands. Just keep a grounded and comfortable stance as everyone walks down the aisle. You will be first down the aisle and people will be watching the groom.
7. When it is just you and the groom at the front, I usually give the groom a wink, put my hand on his shoulder, or say something to him that no one else can hear to try and ease his nerves.
8. Show up way early. One thing I don't want anyone worrying about is "Where is the pastor?!" Wear a simple and plain suit and tie, save your notes offline (don't rely on WiFi), and be available for soundcheck.
9. Don't worry about looking at your notes when you need to. People are much less focused on that than you realize. Just look at the bride and groom in the eyes when you're sharing something personal or a charge to them.
10. Be funny, but not too funny. You're not a comedian, but it always brings a lot of fun and lightens the room with a little laughter. A funny story or memory, or something in regards to something that happened that day. For example, I once joked with the groom at the intro about going ahead and speeding up the ceremony. That was planned.

You're going to do great! Don't feel the pressure to use all of these tips or any of them. Just offering up some lessons learned.

Four notes on the ten

• Tips 1 and 2. Having the couple's back works best alongside the planner or coordinator, not over them. Agree before the day who makes which calls.
• Tips 3 and 7. Ask the groom ahead of time whether he wants the prayer huddle and who should be in it. Some people do not want to be touched or prayed over in front of others.
• Tip 10. Clear any joke or story about the couple with them first.
• Tip 8. "A simple and plain suit and tie" is my habit. Ask the couple what they would like you to wear.