In the Room

The first minute

• Knock. Wait to be invited in.
• Clean your hands on the way in and on the way out.
• Say who you are and which church you are from. People on medication may not place you.
• Ask, "Is this an okay time?" If staff are working, step out and wait.
• Sit down if there is a chair. Get to eye level. Do not sit on the bed.
• Put your phone away.

Presence first

"I've watched people bring meals to families who were overwhelmed. I've seen people sit quietly in hospital rooms. I've watched friends pray through impossible situations, help someone move, watch each other's kids, and stand beside one another through loss. None of those moments happened because someone was paid to care. They happened because the Church became a family."

Notice the word "quietly." Job's friends did their best work in the days they sat with him and said nothing (Job 2:11-13 (opens the passage on Bible.com)). You can do a whole visit well with very few words.

Listen before you speak

"It assumes we'll know each other well enough to recognize when someone is carrying something heavy. You can't carry a burden you never see."

That line is about Galatians 6:2 (opens the passage on Bible.com). So ask, and then let them answer.

• "How are you doing today?"
• "What has been the hardest part?"
• "What are you most worried about?"
• "How can I pray for you right now?"

Let silence sit. Let them cry. Let them be angry, even at God. You do not have to answer every question. "I don't know. I'm here, and God is here" is a true answer.

Keep it short

• For someone who is sick or in pain, ten to fifteen minutes is usually plenty. Watch them, not the clock. Tired eyes mean it is time to pray and go.
• Stay longer when the family is waiting on news, when someone is dying, or when they ask you to.
• Speak to the person in the bed, not about them. Assume they can hear you even if they cannot answer.
• Notice the family in the room and in the hallway. They often need you as much as the patient does.

Stay in your lane

• Do not give medical opinions. Do not second-guess the doctors, the treatment or the family's choices.
• Do not read the monitors, touch the equipment or move the patient.
• When a doctor or nurse comes in, offer to step out.
• Do not promise an outcome. You can promise that God is with them and that you will be too.
• Ask before you touch. "Can I hold your hand while we pray?"
• Ask before you tell anyone. "Who would you like to know about this?"

Before you leave the room

• Read a short passage (Resource 4).
• Pray a short prayer out loud, by name.
• Tell them what happens next: when you will check in, and who they can call.
• Ask the family one practical question: "What do you need in the next two days?"
• Leave your card.