Before You Go

Why you go

"There are some moments in life that you simply don't miss. You don't weigh the pros and cons. You don't ask whether it's worth the money or whether you can fit it into your schedule. When someone you love is walking through one of life's defining moments, something inside of you immediately says, 'I've got to be there.' Whether it's a wedding, a funeral, a graduation, the birth of a child, or a hospital room, our first instinct isn't, 'Should I go?' It's, 'How quickly can I get there?'"

"We've always believed something bigger than convenience: it matters that we show up."

You will not fix what is wrong in that room. You are not there to fix it. You are there so they do not go through it alone, and to bring the hope of Jesus with you.

What they will remember

"Has there ever been a moment when someone simply showed up for you... and it meant everything?"

"I'll bet you're thinking of someone right now. Maybe they couldn't fix what you were walking through. Maybe they didn't have all the right words. But they were there, and you've never forgotten it."

Read that again before a hard visit. It takes the pressure off your words.

Decide ahead of time

Settle these on a calm day. Write the answers down and give them to whoever answers the phone for your church.

• How people reach you. One clear way to tell the church someone is in the hospital or in crisis, and who receives it at night and on your day off.
• Who goes. At our church, the pastor makes the serious visits. Trained leaders and Crew leaders (our small group leaders) make the rest. Decide where that line falls for you.
• How fast. What gets a visit today, and what gets a call today and a visit this week.
• Who goes with you. When you go alone and when you take someone. See "Do not go alone when" below.
• What stays private. Nothing is shared with the church, a prayer list or a group chat without the person's permission.
• Who is on your phone list. See "Know before you need it" in Resource 5.
• Who covers for you. A pastor or leader who goes when you are out of town or sick.

Before you leave

• Call or text the family first if you can. Ask if now is a good time and where they are.
• Ask what you are walking into.
• Check the hospital's visiting rules. Some units limit visitors or hours.
• If you are sick, do not go. Call, and send someone else.
• Tell one person where you are going.
• Pray before you get out of the car.

What to bring

• A small Bible, or the passages in Resource 4 marked on your phone.
• A card with your name and number to leave on the table.
• Nothing that needs explaining. No flowers or food unless you know the unit allows them.
• Decide ahead of time whether you bring oil for anointing (James 5:14-15 (opens the passage on Bible.com)), and how you explain it when you do.

Do not go alone when

• You are visiting someone of the opposite sex in a private home or a closed room.
• You are visiting a child or teenager without a parent present.
• The situation is volatile, or someone may be a danger to themselves or others. See Resource 5.

Decide ahead of time who you call to come with you on short notice.