The Invitation, the First Meeting and the First 90 Days

How to make the ask

• Ask in person. Not by text, and not in a hallway.
• Bring the charter. Walk through it line by line.
• Say why you thought of them. Be specific.
• Be honest about the hard parts: the time, the hard conversations, what they will know about the church that others will not.
• Tell them plainly what the group decides and what it does not.
• Give them time. Ask them to pray, read the passages and talk with their spouse.
• Set a date to hear their answer.

Questions to ask them

1. Tell me how you came to follow Jesus.
2. How are you and your family doing, really?
3. What do you believe about what our church teaches? Is there anything you disagree with?
4. When did you last tell a leader something they did not want to hear? What happened?
5. What would make it hard for you to serve well right now?
6. Is there anything in your life I should know before we go further?
7. What questions do you have for me?

If the answer is no, or not yet

Thank them. Do not push. A person who says no honestly has just shown you something good about them.

Before the first meeting

Send these a week ahead:

• The charter.
• Your statement of beliefs.
• Your bylaws. Ask your lawyer or denomination what a new board member is responsible for under them, and pass that on in writing.
• The current budget and the latest financial report.
• The dates for the year.
• Names and a short introduction for everyone else in the group.

The first meeting

A simple order:

1. Pray. Open your Bible to one of the qualification passages and read it together.
2. Stories. Each person shares how they came to Jesus and how they came to this church.
3. The pastor's update. Soul, family, church. Honest, not polished.
4. The charter. Read it out loud. Take questions.
5. Money. Walk through the budget and the latest report.
6. How we handle hard conversations. Read your agreed steps (Resource 4).
7. Dates. Confirm the year's meetings.
8. Pray for the pastor's family and the church.

The first 90 days

Days 1 to 30: learn the church.

• Read everything sent before the first meeting.
• Sit in on a staff meeting or a team huddle, if your charter gives that access.
• Have one unhurried conversation with the pastor, and one with the pastor's spouse if that fits your church.

Days 31 to 60: learn the people and the numbers.

• Meet one other member of the group one to one.
• Go through the financial report with whoever keeps the books. Ask every question you have.
• Start praying on a set day each week for the pastor, the pastor's family, the church and the city.

Days 61 to 90: start carrying weight.

• Attend your first regular meeting as a full member.
• Bring one honest observation and one encouragement.
• Sit down with the pastor and ask: "What do you need from me? What should I know that I do not?"

A rhythm that helps

• Healthy things grow.
• Play the long game.
• Start now, start small, stay faithful.