Rated R: Sexual Immorality

I realize there are many different paradigms and viewpoints on this topic. If we were to listen to culture and how they define sex and purity, then that would be extremely confusing. There are so many different messages that are being streamed on our phones and played on our screens. But here at Pinewood we have made a decision to stand on the Word of God to define morality, purity, and sex. I believe this is a topic that speaks to everyone in the room. We all have this struggle to some degree. It would be impossible for me to hit on every area of this topic, but I would like to focus in on one specific theme. And that is the word Lust.

Illust: When God tells us how to use what he invented and made to be a gift we cop an attitude. Where else do we use that kind of logic? why wouldn’t we look at the manual. Home Depot and a chainsaw. They just don’t want you chopping your arm off. We give them the benefit of the doubt.

When we use something the way it was not intended to be used, then something or someone is bound to get hurt! The same is true for God's design for sex and purity.

Theme: Lust

I want to take the definition beyond sexual perversion or sexual desire and say that… Lust is using someone as an instrument for your own satisfaction. If you look at your relationships through this lens then you will be more focused on using them than serving them. You will be more focused on receiving satisfaction than giving sacrificially. Lust is a relationship killer!

Let’s look at a story in the Bible that illustrates what I’m talking about.

Passage: 2 Samuel 11:1-21

In the spring when kings march out to war, David sent Joab with his officers and all Israel. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah, but David remained in Jerusalem. 2 One evening David got up from his bed and strolled around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing—a very beautiful woman. 3 So David sent someone to inquire about her, and he said, “Isn’t this Bathsheba,daughter of Eliam and wife of Uriah the Hethite?” 4 David sent messengers to get her, and when she came to him, he slept with her. Now she had just been purifying herself from her uncleanness. Afterward, she returned home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to inform David: “I am pregnant.” 6 David sent orders to Joab: “Send me Uriah the Hethite.” So Joab sent Uriah to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked how Joab and the troops were doing and how the war was going. 8 Then he said to Uriah, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king followed him. 9 But Uriah slept at the door of the palace with all his master’s servants; he did not go down to his house. 10 When it was reported to David, “Uriah didn’t go home,” David questioned Uriah, “Haven’t you just come from a journey? Why didn’t you go home?” 11 Uriah answered David, “The ark, Israel, and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my master Joab and his soldiers are camping in the open field. How can I enter my house to eat and drink and sleep with my wife? As surely as you live and by your life, I will not do this!” 12 “Stay here today also,” David said to Uriah, “and tomorrow I will send you back.” So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 Then David invited Uriah to eat and drink with him, and David got him drunk. He went out in the evening to lie down on his cot with his master’s servants, but he did not go home. 14 The next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In the letter he wrote: Put Uriah at the front of the fiercest fighting, then withdraw from him so that he is struck down and dies.

Pray: (Pause 3-5 seconds)

Background: David was a man after God’s own heart. He had a long track record of faithfulness to God. He was the shepherd boy defeating lions. He was the little brother that took down the giant. But as we know today, prior faithfulness does not guarantee faithfulness today. You have to continue to work hard at building parameters in your life, establishing accountability, and dying to self daily. We’re going to look at a portion of David’s life that was not so courageous and noble. This story is actually tragic on every level! As you read the story your mind starts to wonder “What were you thinking?!?!”

Main Points: The Reality of Lust

1. Lust does it’s best to work in isolation and disconnection
   1. *Verse 2 - One evening David got up from his bed and strolled around on the roof of the palace.* *From the roof he saw a woman bathing—a very beautiful woman.*
   2. Isolated from Godly council and disconnected from the battle God has called you to fight. This is a dangerous place to be.
   3. Idle time is the breeding ground for idol thoughts. Creating space for rest is intentional and biblical, but becoming idle with no purpose leaves you susceptible to temptation and destructive thinking.
   4. “If you are idle, be not solitary. If you are solitary, be not idle.” - Samuel Johnson

   5. This was the first time David actually stayed home from going into battle.

      1. David was safer on the battlefield of war than on the battleground of his own home.
      2. It’s a lot harder to take your pants off when you were engaged in war than it is when you’re lounging on the couch.
         6. Question: What is your rooftop? Where is your rooftop? When are the moments you are most tempted to lust and be drawn into temptation?

      3. Lust over promises and under delivers

         1. What started with David watching a naked woman bathe, turned to him committing adultery, getting her pregnant, covering up with lies, and ultimately murdering her husband.
         2. In the end lust never delivers the level of intimacy and release that’s desired. In the end it can only leave you feeling more lonely, more guilty, and more depraved.
         3. Looking at pornography is rewiring your brain to objectify the opposite sex. Making that person an object or instrument for your satisfaction!

      4. Question: In what ways have you experienced the negative effects of pornograpy and lust in your life?

      5. I have deer friends that have lost their marriage due to pornography. Other friends that never married and are still living a promiscuous lifestyle.
         4. Fulfilling your lust is so short sighted. It seeks instant gratification but neglects the long term ramifications.

      6. The choices you make today will result in consequences for a long time. Yes God can forgive you! Yes God will forgive you! But God wants more for your life than just simply forgiving you every time you sin against his plan! He wants to use you now. Bless you now. Fulfill the calling on your life now!

         5. Lust is a lie! You know why, cause the devil is a liar. He will whisper, it’s only one scene, it’s only one look, it’s only one click, then the next thing you know, your mind is filled with lust! Why, cause his job is to destroy your life! And he will use the most subtle of things to do it.
         6. Story: Jess and I have straight walked out of a movie theater. No devil, not today. Not in my eyes. Not in my mind. Not in my heart! I’m walking! Then we went into another movie theater and made out for the next hour and it was all gooooood! ;). Best decision ever!

      7. I straight pulled a Joseph. I left my coat, bucket of popcorn, and large soda, and we were out of there!

      8. Lust takes you further than you want to go, and keeps you longer than you want to stay

         1. Illust: Dunkin Donuts, Video Games, or maybe your In-Laws.
         2. The negative relational effects of lust and pornography... abuse, aggression, and exploitation.

      9. 36% of the internet is pornographic

      10. 1 out of 4 google searches is sexual in nature
          3. Your lust and sexual immorality may not lead you to murder, but I can promise it will lead to the death of relational intimacy and harm to others around you.

Closing: A Fireplace

Lust will stunt your spiritual growth and cause you to struggle to maintain healthy relationships with others around you.

Walking Points:

1. Establish Consistent Accountability
   1. There is not a single recovery strategy that involves isolation. AA, NA, SA all require what…. A sponsor. Why? Because without personal accountability it is impossible to overcome significant challenges in our lives.
   2. Choose a group of 2-3 individuals that have the same vision for their lives, the same desire to pursue purity and righteousness, and meet weekly.
   3. “A fool’s way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise.” - Proverbs 12:15
2. Build Intentional Parameters
   1. Put guards on your phone and computer. Delete certain apps that cause you to to lust.
   2. Unfollow/unfriend people that you know you shouldn’t be following!
   3. Remove all obstacles to sin and build intentional parameters in your life!
   4. “Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” - Proverbs 15:22
3. Get In & Stay In The Battle
   1. “Stay awake and pray, so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” - Matthew 26:41
   2. Idle time and disengagement will leave you prime for attack from the enemy. Get in the game! Get in the battle! Live and fight for something with a purpose so that you will avoid temptation.

Song: Oh Come To The Altar

Let’s pray.