Marriage and Parenting: Sex & The Gospel

Marriage & Parenting: Sex & The Gospel

April 3rd, 2022/Riverside & Lookout

Address:

• Kids in the room

  • Parents, I am going to address a topic that is widely discussed in our public schools. The conversation today is being addressed in the shows our teenagers watch, the music they listen to, and every other form of influence in their lives. But if you are uncomfortable with your children being a part of this conversation then I highly encourage you to check your kids in to our amazing PNWD Kids ministry.
  • A 2022 Common Sense Media study found the average age of a child’s first exposure to pornography is 12. The world is trying to normalize and in some cases celebrate sexualization for children. This is a harsh reality that I believe we need to address, combat, and fight against in all forms.

  • Sexually Abused

  • If you have experienced any form of sexual abuse in your past then this message might be very emotional and difficult for you. I want you to know that my intent and goal for today is not to bring up horrific memories, but to point you to the Gospel and give you hope.

  • I also want to say that I believe that all forms of abuse are evil, dangerous, and not acceptable in the world today. As your pastor and as a church family we will do everything in our power to protect people and their stories. We will fight for the abused and oppressed.

  • Culture

  • If the church doesn’t disciple a generation on a specific topic then I can guarantee the world will.

    • In a 2002 poll of 350 divorce lawyers, among cases where the Internet played a part, 68% involved one party meeting a new lover over the Internet. - CovenantEyes
    • In those same cases, 56% involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.” - CovenantEyes
    • 90% of teens and 96% of young adults are either encouraging, accepting, or neutral when they talk about porn with their friends. - CovenantEyes
  • I tell you these statistics not to frighten you and not to shame you, I tell you these statistics so that we can have an honest conversation about an issue that is currently devastating a generation.

  • Then let’s look at our current cultural moment with tv shows on Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.

    • It is very challenging to find a show or movie that doesn’t have explicit nudity and sex scenes.
    • The shows are unapologetic in encouraging sex outside of marriage and with many partners.

    • The shows want you to believe that watching pornography is okay if it fits within the thematic narrative.

      • About four in ten children in the US are born to unmarried mothers (CDC, 2024).

    • If we don’t have conversations about this topic and address the implications of this reality, then I do not believe that we are doing our part in discipling a generation.

Story: Lack Of Discipleship

As a pastor I get the privilege of walking with people through many different aspects of their life. From the celebration moments to the deepest and darkest tragedies. One reality that I’ve found consistent in conversations with people from all walks of life is that there is a lack of discipleship specific to real life challenges people face.

Where there is a lack of discipleship, there is going to be a lack of understanding of the Word of God and God’s design for humanity. This is why so many play by their own rules. They date by their own rules. They marry and treat one another by their own rules. They have kids and parent by their own rules.

My challenge for everyone today is to “Stop playing by your own rules.” As followers of Jesus, we are called to live by the authority of God’s rule and reign over our lives. He has the final say on sexuality, He has the final Word on Sex, and He ultimately is the authority over our bodies. God’s Word has a lot to say about sex and it’s my goal to unpack as much as I can in the short amount of time we have together so that you can see clearly that God’s way is the best way!

Title: Sex & The Gospel

The One who designs it, gets to define it.

Genesis 2 - God creates a man and gives him a job. Then He creates woman.

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.” - Genesis 2:24 CSB

Here is God’s design from Genesis 2:24 - a man leaves his father and mother, bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. Here’s how I’d apply that: get a job, leave your parents’ house, get married, and then have sex.

Definition of God Honoring Sex:

Sex that brings glory to God and lasting pleasure to each other is the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual act of covenant love, mutual submission, and intimate discovery between a husband and a wife.

As followers of Jesus we seek to honor God with all of our lives and to obey His commands. As a result, we experience all that God intended for sex and intimacy with one another. We will unpack the rest of this definition throughout the remainder of this message.

“Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or males who have sex with males, 10 no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom. 11 And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” - 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 CSB

Paul is discipling christians in this letter to the church in Corinth. To say that the city of Corinth was sexually immoral would be a giant understatement. Let’s unpack the words sexual immorality.

Sexual immorality - greek word porneia, its where we get the english word pornography. This word is mentioned 25 times in the New Testament and it is communicating any sexual expression outside of the Genesis 2 ideal.

The New Testament warns us against porneia:

“The body is not meant for porneia but for the Lord” (1 Corinthians 6:13).

“Flee from porneia. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18)

“But among you there must not be even a hint of porneia, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Ephesians 5:3).

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid porneia” (1 Thessalonians 4:3).

Sexual Immorality in The Bible, and how I’d apply it today:

• Fornication
• Same sex sexual relations
• Polygamy
• Extramarital masturbation
• Adultery
• Swingers and open relationships
• Oral sex outside of marriage
• Pornography
• Emotional fantasy

What the sermon is not…

We are not the good people telling all the bad people to start being good.

We are the unrighteous people who have been saved by the only perfect person that has ever lived, Jesus Christ.

“You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. 28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. - Matthew 5:27-28 CSB

You may say “I don’t watch porn”, but you’re on TikTok and following explicit accounts on instagram and acting as if it’s something different. “I don’t watch porn”, but you’ll watch a sex scene in a tv series or movie. Anytime nudity and sexuality on a screen or on paper is there to stir up lust, that is pornography.

Illust: If you fall into any of these categories of sexual immorality… raise your hand.

This puts all of us in the same category. We are all sinners and in need of a redeemer. We have all fallen short of the glory of God and in desperate need of the Good News of the Gospel.

And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified

God is in the business of healing, sanctification, and justification. He is ready, are you willing?

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see,the new has come!” - 2 Corinthians 5:17 CSB

As followers of Jesus we have been set apart from the pattern of the world and culture’s definition of sex. We have been justified and set free through the power of the Gospel. We are new creations in Christ. You no longer live by your rules, your standards, but you have access to the power of the Holy Spirit to find healing and freedom in Jesus name!

“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything.” - 1 Corinthians 6:12 CSB

It’s legal Paul. It’s not hurting anybody. It’s what everyone else is doing!

There is the Word and the world. And there is constant conflict between what people think in the world and what God says in His Word.

Sociology keeps discovering what theology has been saying for the last 2000+ years.

Liberation:

There was an article that came out a few weeks ago that describes how this generation is the most “liberated” and least sexually satisfied. The title of this article reads “We need a new sexual ethic”

“In our post-sexual-revolution culture, there seems to be wide agreement among young adults that sex is good and the more of it we have, the better. That assumption includes the idea that we don’t need to be tied to a relationship or marriage; that our proclivities are personal and that they are not to be judged by others — not even by participants. In this landscape, there is only one rule: Get consent from your partner beforehand. But the outcome is a world in which young people are both liberated and miserable.” - Washington Post

We don’t need a new sexual ethic, we need God’s original intent.

Playing by your own rules is not working. Anytime we step outside of God’s intent and design for sex we will inevitably end up miserable, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied.

Cohabitation:

Something else that is popular in today's society is cohabitation. Studies consistently link living together before engagement with a higher risk of divorce.

“Interestingly, both engaged and non-engaged cohabiting couples tend to report less relationship dedication, less relationship confidence, and more negative communication compared to those who wait to live together until marriage.” - Psychology Today

New York Times: ARTICLE

TITLE: Too Risky to Wed in Your 20s? Not if You Avoid Cohabiting First

SUB-TITLE: Research shows that marrying young without ever having lived together with a partner makes for some of the lowest divorce rates

We are not anti-sex, we are pro marriage.

God created sex. The first command to humanity, multiply! Song of Solomon… An old Jewish tradition reportedly kept this book from readers until age 30.

“The desire for sex is good, it’s God given, it just needs to be God governed.” - Levi Lusko

Illust: A fire is great in a fireplace, but it's devastating when it’s uncontained.

Boundaries are the gift that brings the blessing.

They are not meant to restrict you, but to release you in all God has intended for your sex life.

Biblical Values of Sex: Between a husband and wife

Sex is for pleasure

Sex is for intimacy

Sex is for protection

Sex is for discovery

Sex is for reproduction

Sex is not for sale

Sex is not for entertainment

Sex is not for practice (outside of marriage)

Sex is not a prize

Sex is not an ultimatum

“Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food,” and God will do away with both of them. However, the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 God raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.” - 1 Corinthians 6:13-14 CSB

NOBODY EVER ACTUALLY BELIEVES SEX IS JUST ANOTHER PHYSICAL DESIRE. It’s not as casual as sitting down for brunch at the Buff.

Definition of God Honoring Sex:

Sex that brings glory to God and lasting pleasure to each other is the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual act of covenant love, mutual submission, and intimate discovery between a husband and a wife.

Sex is not just natural, it is supernatural. It reaches to the depths of your soul!

The Hebrew word Dod in Song of Solomon means “love” or “beloved”. Matt Chandler calls it “the mingling of souls”.

“Don’t you know that your bodies are a part of Christ’s body? So should I take a part of Christ’s body and make it part of a prostitute? Absolutely not! 16 Don’t you know that anyone joined to a prostitute is one body with her? For Scripture says, The two will become one flesh. 17 But anyone joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.” - 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 CSB

Who made you? God

Who came here to save the world? Jesus

Who is coming again? Jesus

You didn’t make it, you didn’t redeem it, you’re not going to resurrect it. Your body is actually God's body.

“A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.” - 1 Corinthians 7:3 CSB (Husbands saying “i just found my life verse”)

18 Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. 19 Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.” - 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 CSB

Top 5 Reasons People Get Divorced:

1. Infidelity
2. Lack of intimacy
3. Communication
4. Money
5. Addiction

2 Timothy 2:22 ESV / 111 helpful votes

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Woman at the well - John 4:16-26

Go call your husband

I don’t have a husband…