Right Plan, Wrong People

If you’re like me, then you probably like to surround yourself with people that are like you. You may share in similar hobbies, or careers. Or maybe you are in the same season of life and so you surround yourself with people that are in a similar season as you.

This is completely natural and I believe that there are a lot of pros to pursuing this type of community. It’s nice to know that there are other people that share in similar struggles. For us when we meet people with kids we can immediately talk about the struggle of parenting and finding babysitters. Or if we’re new to town and we meet someone else that’s also new to town, it’s nice talking about all the restaurants and coffee shops we like around town and all the fun activities there are to do in the summer.

There’s nothing wrong with looking for people like you. People that you feel there is an immediate connection with. There are also some cons to this as well. When we are only looking for people that are “like us” then we often don’t lean in to other relationships that aren’t “like us”. We can easily become lonely because we can’t find the perfect people that we connect with easily. So we bounce relationship to relationship, hoping that maybe the next person you meet is going to understand.

There’s also the reality that when we look for people that are like us, then that often means our struggles as well. So if we’re emotionally unhealthy, then we tend to gravitate towards others that are emotionally unhealthy. We find comfort in knowing people that have similar struggles because that makes us feel less guilty for having a specific struggle and therefore can become complacent in our weaknesses.

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I believe there is beauty in diversity. That even though it’s natural and often beneficial to be with those like you and near you, I believe it’s even more beneficial to embrace our differences and lean in to relationships that can grow you in your areas of weakness and challenge you in your areas of struggle. True growth happens not in comfort, but in friction, vulnerability, and authenticity.

Think about it… some of your closest friends are probably people that you’ve been through some stuff with. People that you’ve had your fair share of conflict with. People that you’ve celebrated and wept with.

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My wife and I recently celebrated 1 year in Boulder, Colorado. Before moving to Boulder we had an amazing group of friends and family in Tennessee. But when we moved to Boulder we had nobody. And we were looking for “our people”. The people that we would do life with.

We were planting our roots in the city and had a deep longing for community. I’m sure many of you share this same sentiment. I want to encourage you with something this evening, as important as it is to look for the right people, I think it’s much more beneficial to be the right people.

Question: What would it look like if Pinewood Church was the place to find the “Right People”?

As we are growing this family we call Pinewood and as we are meeting new people constantly in our city, we should have full confidence as we invite people to check us out that we are going to be a people that love unconditionally, give hope, show honor, and speak life.

I met several new families and individuals this week and shared all that God is doing here at Pinewood. I told them over and over again that they would love this crew. I bragged on our people because I believe God has sent us an amazing foundation to build on. I told them that they would feel welcome, loved, and that they would have an enjoyable experience.

Title: Right Plans, Wrong People (Right Future, Wrong Friends)

Intro: Many of us here would say that we have the right plan for our future; meaning that we have a sense of where God is calling us and how we can be obedient to that calling, but we struggle in finding the right people to join us on that journey.

For some of us, it could be that we’re still sorting out that calling and the plan God has for our lives. And the struggle to find the right people that would speak into your calling and point you to Jesus is lacking and it’s causing you to question your calling and possibly even your faith.

I want to take the next few minutes and talk about being the right people, then I want to share how we can find the right people in our normal weekly rhythms.

Big Idea: Your best life is not found in what you do, but who you belong to.

Passage: Romans 12:9-13 CSB

Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. 10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit; serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer. 13 Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality. CSB

9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. 11-13 Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. MSG

Illust: Right Plan, Wrong Club (Video)

Main Points: The Right People...

1. Love Deeply

   1. “Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. 10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters.”

   2. Illust: True love is real

      1. “The word hypocrite ultimately came into English from the Greek word hypokrites, which means “an actor” or “a stage player.” The Greek word itself is a compound noun: it’s made up of two Greek words that literally translate as “an interpreter from underneath.” That bizarre compound makes more sense when you know that the actors in ancient Greek theater wore large masks to mark which character they were playing, and so they interpreted the story from underneath their masks.” - Webster's
      2. Question: How often do we interpret our projected self? Our projected life?
      3. Unfortunately we’ve all become quite good at wearing masks thanks to social media. We have become accustomed to putting the best “us” or the best mask in public so that others will view us a certain way.

      4. If we are going to be the right people, then it’s time that we remove the masks and be real, genuine, and authentic in love and in our relationships.

         3. True love is selfless

      5. “If then there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” - Philippians 2:1-4 CSB

      6. “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 CSB

         4. Application: True love is found in Jesus

      7. If we are to show true love and love deeply, then we must first know Jesus Christ and allow His love to flow through us.

      8. To love deeply we have to be willing to…

         1. Meet people where they are.
         2. Serve others and meet needs
         3. Listen more than we speak
         4. See the potential in people
         5. Speak the potential in people
         6. Walk with people through every season
         7. And point people to Jesus.

2. Honor Selflessly

   1. “Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit; serve the Lord.”

      1. Compete on who can show the most honor.

      2. Illust: Honor people in the room

         2. Two types of honor (Speaking of your motives)

      3. Giving honor out of selfish ambition

         1. You may honor your boss so that they will reward you. You may honor your employees so that they will work harder. You may honor those that you feel could elevate your status or make a donation to your cause.

         2. Honor is not flattery for the sake of receiving something in return. 2. Giving honor out of selfless love

         3. This is God’s way of showing honor, it is both honest and selfless.

         4. We generously give this honor to others because they are created in the image of God. Because we believe they are valued and have a great purpose in their life. 3. If we are going to be competitive in something, let’s get competitive in showing and giving honor to one another.

         5. This is a deep longing in the heart of every human on the planet.

         6. Nobody wants to ask for it, but it is always well received and gives life to the one being honored.
            3. Application: Honor Circle
            4. When you speak honor, you are revealing something about someone that others might not have ever noticed.
            5. Honor is life giving. Honor builds up. You can never go wrong giving honor. Honor is our calling.

      4. “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” - Ephesians 4:29 ESV

         6. Honor, but always speak truth

      5. There’s a saying that says “If you don’t have anything good to say… (don’t say anything at all)”

      6. I believe we can all do better at finding good things to say about others around us. There may be a person right now that you are thinking of that has horribly wronged you in some way. They may not have many great qualities about them, but if you zoom out for a second I would bet that you could find a way to honor them.

3. Pursue Hospitality

   1. “12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer. 13 Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.”
   2. To serve is to sacrifice. The very idea of serving means that you are going to give up something.

   3. Hospitality is not an event, it’s a way of life. It’s not merely entertainment, it’s offering a part of who you are.

      1. “Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining.” - 1 Peter 4:8-9

         4. Illust: My Father and Hospitality (Now he owns hospitality at our church)
         5. Question: In what ways can we take hospitality to the next level here at Pinewood?
         6. We want Pinewood Church to be a safe place for all. A place where people feel warm, welcome, and safe. We want people to get connected and meet somebody new every week. We want this to be a house that demonstrates unconditional love.

      2. Application: In what ways can you come alongside that vision and help create that atmosphere? Or in what ways can you create that atmosphere in your neighborhood or workplace?

Walking Points:

1. Start or Join a Crew

   1. Crews consist of both smaller gender specific groups that hold each other accountable to core convictions and co-ed groups that meet all over the city to meet and build community and to study God’s Word.
   2. The best you is found in a crew!There is an invitation to participate in the bigger vision for Pinewood Church. It’s our vision to see hundreds of crews all over this city. It’s not rocket science. You don’t have to be a trained expert. You don’t have to be a super Christian.
   3. God is not looking for the able, but the available.He’s not looking for the skilled or prophetic, He can use you where you are, in the season that you are in, and with the people that you know to start something that could change and transform this city for God’s glory!

   4. Show Up

   5. Consistency builds community. You cannot show up once or twice and expect there to be instant lifelong relationships.

   6. Show up, be present, and keep showing up. You’ll be surprised at the power in showing up.
   7. You don’t find community, you build it. - Ryan Oldham

   8. Lean In

   9. By leaning in, I mean, ask real questions. Tell me about your life, dreams, story, past, hurts, hobbies! Lean in and listen.

   10. Leaning in does not mean dominate. Leaning is a posture of learning and listening. Let’s be a people that listen well and lean in to the harder questions that most people glance or glaze over!
   11. The formula for “Lean in” is intentional + Vulnerable = Trust Worthy. Let’s lean in and be a people that can be trusted with people's deepest hurts and secrets.