Relationships: A God Fearing Father

May 19th, 2024/Casey Middle School

Father’s Day message 4 weeks early: Historically Father’s Day is one of the lowest attended Sundays of the year. So instead of preaching a Father’s Day message on Father’s Day, I’m preaching it today in preparation for the day of honor. Culture in a church is either set by default or design. We are going to be a house known for having God Fearing Fathers! When your kids say “dad, what do you want to do today?” I’m believing our dads will say “Let us go to the house of the Lord!” - Psalm 122:1.

I asked my kids “What is a dad?” And here’s what they had to say:

“A person that takes care of you and loves you!” - Sylah 7

“Someone who cares for you and loves you no matter what.” - Ryan 12

“Someone that cares for you, nourishes you, and gives you love.” - Cory 10

“Someone that takes care of you, helps you, and loves you.” - Neriah 9

“You do bro-time with me, jump on the trampoline, and snuggle with me.” - Zion 5

You could say that Zion understood the assignment.

To the single moms: My dad was raised by a God fearing woman and all of her kids have served their whole lives in ministry, one pastor, one pastor's wife, and my dad, the ultimate servant leader and worshiper. So don’t tell me He can’t do it. I am here because a single mom made a decision to raise her children in the house of God and in the fear of the Lord.

Story: At the beginning of the year I lost one of my closest friends. This man of God was married and had 4 little boys. Now I have a dear friend who is a single momma. I’ll never forget the calls I received from countless men that immediately stepped up and said “These boys will be covered”. Men of God stepped up and fully finished the renovation on her home at no charge. But more than that, these men stood in the gap for the boys and they are giving them an example to follow. Nobody can replace Cody, he was a one of a kind, but they are committed to continuing his legacy of faith and pouring into these boys. *Pic of men at Gideon’s baptism

Set-up: We live in a cultural moment of redefining masculinity. Men are portrayed as either passive, perpetrator, or predator, when what we need is men of God who are prayerful, provider, protector. Rarely do you see the biblical characteristics of a Godly man portrayed in movies, books, or in the influential space. “We have a lot of men living up to a lower standard.” Tony Evans.

Today is not about Fatherhood shaming, or Fatherhood degrading.

Big Idea: Today is about calling men to the higher standard and giving them a mission to fight for. The fight is against a fatherless generation in Boulder.

The Problem: Let’s take a look at some results of fatherless homes:

Poverty and Economic Hardship

• Children in father-absent homes are nearly four times more likely to be living in poverty. About 44% of children in single-mother households live below the poverty line, compared to 12% of children in married-couple families (U.S. Census Bureau).

Education and Academic Achievement

• Children with absent fathers are twice as likely to drop out of high school. They are also less likely to pursue higher education (U.S. Department of Education).

Behavioral and Emotional Issues

• Children from fatherless homes are more likely to exhibit aggressive and disruptive behavior in school and social settings (National Center for Fathering).

Crime and Juvenile Delinquency

• 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes. These children are significantly more likely to engage in criminal behavior and end up in juvenile detention (U.S. Department of Justice report, 1988, on youth in custody in 1987).
• Adults who grew up in fatherless homes are twice as likely to end up in prison compared to those who grew up with both parents present (National Institute of Justice).

Substance Abuse

• Adolescents in father-absent households have significantly higher rates of smoking, drinking, and drug use. They are more likely to experiment with these substances at an earlier age (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse).

Mental Health

• Children from father-absent homes are more likely to suffer from mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies (American Psychological Association).

Teenage Pregnancy

• Girls from fatherless homes are seven times more likely to become pregnant as teenagers. They are also more likely to enter into early and unstable marriages (National Center for Fathering).

Long-Term Impact on Relationships

• Adults who grew up without fathers are more likely to experience relationship instability. They have higher rates of divorce and often struggle with forming and maintaining healthy relationships (Journal of Marriage and Family).

Homelessness

• Children from fatherless homes are more likely to experience homelessness. Studies show that a significant percentage of homeless youth come from homes without a father (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services).

The solution to this problem is coming back to God’s ordained solution, God fearing men! Men who live under His rule and authority.

"A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society." - Billy Graham

Passage: Joshua 24:14-15

14 “Therefore, fear the Lord and worship him in sincerity and truth. Get rid of the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and worship the Lord. 15 But if it doesn’t please you to worship the Lord, choose for yourselves today: Which will you worship—the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living? As for me and my family, we will worship the Lord.”

Pray:

Background:

Joshua 24 is the final chapter in this book and it tells of Joshua's farewell speech to the Israelites. The Israelites have successfully settled in the Promised Land of Canaan, following years of battles and the distribution of the land among the twelve tribes. The period is marked by relative peace and stability, but Joshua is close to dying, and he is concerned about the future faithfulness of the Israelites.

Joshua urges the Israelites to make a clear and conscious decision about whom they will serve. He presents a stark choice between the God of Israel and the foreign gods their ancestors once worshiped or the gods of the current land's inhabitants. Joshua sets a personal example by declaring his own and his household's unwavering commitment to serving the Lord. The verse is pivotal in the covenant renewal process, where Joshua seeks to solidify the people's loyalty to God, ensuring that the new generation remains faithful amidst the surrounding pagan influences.

At the end of Joshua's life, he wanted to emphasize what was priority for the people, to remain steadfast in their worship of the Lord and not to be swayed by the surrounding cultures. It serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of commitment and faithfulness to God.

Title: A God Fearing Father

All of the points below are not men being men… but they are men under the rule of God. They are men who fear and tremble in the presence of God. They are men that have a boss. They are men that have a heavenly Father. This is critical as you hear and process each point.

As the old Jerry Reed song goes “We got a long way to go, and a short time to get there” So let’s get started!

Main Points: A GOD FEARING FATHER…

1. SETS THE STANDARD

   1. “So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”” - Genesis 3:9

   2. Again and again in scripture, we see that it is the man’s responsibility to set the moral and spiritual standard in the home.

      1. Eve took the first bite, but He called for Adam first. “Adam, where are you?” From creation, God had in mind that the man would take responsibility for his family.
      2. WHERE’S THE MAN? He took the blessing of God and used it to hide from God in his own home!

      3. They both sinned, and God questions them both, but He calls for the man first.

         3. A godly father is the foundation of the household. He is in authority because he is under authority.

      4. They don’t fire teams, they fire coaches. Why? Because he’s responsible for having the team ready for play! I’m holding you responsible, even if it’s not your fault. I’m holding you responsible for the performance of the team.

         4. Listen, sons, to a father’s discipline, and pay attention so that you may gain understanding, 2 for I am giving you good instruction. Don’t abandon my teaching.” - Proverbs 4:1-2

      5. Teach your kids the Word of God and how to listen to the voice of God.

      6. Practically you can read the bible with your kids, listen to sermons together in the car, study the bible using online theological studies resources, and memorize Scripture together.
      7. When your kids are trying to navigate truth in their lives, ask them “Does God say anything about that?” or “Have you prayed about that?”

      8. Men, we need to raise a generation of kids that know the Word of God and apply the word to their lives.

         5. Kingdom men, grounded in truth, shape a home, build churches, influence neighborhoods, transform cities, and change the world!

      9. We need more God fearing fathers to set the moral standard and take responsibility for the spiritual health in the home.

      10. "A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd." - Max Lucado

2. LIVES BY EXAMPLE

   1. “My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 listening closely to wisdom and directing your heart to understanding; 3 furthermore, if you call out to insight and lift your voice to understanding, 4 if you seek it like silver and search for it like hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God.” - Proverbs 2:1-5

   2. To the father who grew up in a fatherless home. Many men in the house today did not grow up with the example to follow.

      1. If you did not have an example to follow, if you did not get a template of how to live as a God fearing father, then you have an opportunity to lean in and become a student of biblical fatherhood.
      2. Start by reading “Raising Giant Killers” or “Raising A Modern-Day Knight”.
      3. Listen to “At Home With The Beveres” Podcast.
      4. Lean in to other parents who did grow up with that influence in their lives and learn from them!

      5. Start now, start small, and stay faithful!

         3. Fathers, you cannot pour out what you have not put in!

      6. If you want to produce wise children, you must pursue wisdom from God!

      7. Men, live by example for your kids. Live by example for kids without fathers. Live by example as a coach on a local sports team. Live by example for the kids in this house. Take responsibility and give them an example to follow.
      8. Kids that grow up despising the church often do so not because of what the parents professed, it's that they didn’t practice at home what they professed at church.
      9. Be what you want to see in future generations. Be what you want to see in your home.
      10. If you want to make the greatest impact on your children, then allow the Word of God and the Spirit of God to make a great impact in your life!
          4. Kids Who Become Regular Churchgoers as Adults (1994 Swiss study, Haug and Warner)
      11. If mom and dad both went regularly: 33% of kids will as adults.
      12. If only mom went regularly: 2 to 3% of kids will as adults.
      13. If dad went regularly and mom did not: 38 to 44% of kids will as adults.
      14. If neither mom nor dad went: very few kids will as adults.

3. PROVIDES AND PROTECTS

   1. “The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it.” - Genesis 2:15
   2. “But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” - 1 Timothy 5:8

   3. Work for a man was in God’s perfect creation! The work was not a punishment to the man, but it was a purpose given to the man.

      1. It is both good and in the best interest of the man to work and find great purpose in providing for his family.

      2. As the wise bishop Dr. Tony Evans has said “If there is no finance, there will be no romance.”

         4. “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” - 1 Corinthians 16:13 NASB
         5. “After I made an inspection, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials, and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the great and awe-inspiring Lord, and fight for your countrymen, your sons and daughters, your wives and homes.” - Nehemiah 4:14
         6. As much as you defend your career, health, and investments, how much more should you defend your family!

      3. If the devil wants my family, he’s going to have to come through me!

      4. There’s a covering! There’s a war waging for the souls of our children! There’s a real enemy, a real battle, and it’s time for God’s mighty men to rise up!
      5. We need God fearing dads to wake up and realize that there is a culture fighting for the values, purpose, and destiny of your children! This is not the time for R&R, we are on the FRONT LINES!
      6. When a God fearing Father wakes up, it’s an issue for the enemy!

4. MAKES THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE

   1. “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” - Romans 8:32 NASB
   2. For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” - John 3:16

   3. The moment you look at your new baby boy or baby girl, you have a moment that you realize, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this child.

      1. There’s a unique moment in the life of a new dad, where all of life's priorities shift in a moment.

      2. There’s a bigger story being written. There’s a responsibility I have to give an account for. This life is bigger than myself.

         4. “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” - Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

      3. God gave His Son to save us. That is the ultimate sacrifice. Here’s how I’d apply that to dads: it’s time to sacrifice for your family today. Don’t wait till tomorrow. Nobody knows what a day may bring, but we have today, make the most of it.

Closing:

Dads, Your number one priority is not your friends, not your co-workers, not your neighbors, your number one priority is your home! God’s plan A for taking the Gospel to the ends of the earth is in the family. Your primary responsibility in making disciples starts in your home.

Walking Points:

1. If you are single, give them a faithful example to follow as you prepare to meet your spouse and lay a foundation for the rest of your life.
2. If you are married without kids, give them stability by establishing core convictions on the Word of God before they come.
3. If you are married and have children, give them a legacy to pass on to future generations. Give them the tools they’ll need to handle any and every situation. Give them a foundation of truth and grace. Give them the greatest gift, the gift of discipling them in how to have a relationship with God.
4. That’s the home I want to have. That’s the dad I want to be. That’s the example I want to lead.

Walking Points 2:

1. Maybe you’re a dad in the room and you haven’t given your life to the Lord. Today is the day to make that decision and start a new life in Christ.
2. Maybe you’re a dad that hasn’t really been living what you say you believe in the home. Make the commitment today as Joshua did and come forward and fall on your knees and say “As for me and my family, we will worship the Lord.”
3. The altar is not a place of shame, but a place of grace. It’s where you kneel down before God and make commitments. "The man who kneels before God can stand before anyone."

Invitation:

If you want to make a decision to follow Jesus. Then join me and everyone else in the building as we pray out loud together. It’s not the prayer that saves you, but your faith, making Jesus Lord of your life. We don’t let anyone go on the journey alone. If you have faith in Jesus, then let’s join together as we pray…

Prayer of Salvation:

Jesus, I acknowledge that I need you

I confess that I have sinned against you

I believe that God raised you from the dead

And right now, by faith, I say “Jesus is Lord”

Thank you for forgiving me

By your grace I am saved

And by your power I am set free

Conclusion:

If you prayed that prayer for the first time then Scripture says “anyone who acknowledges me before others, I will acknowledge them before my Father”. I’m going to ask that if you prayed that prayer for the first time would you lift your hand and let me know so that I can celebrate with you.

1. God is so proud of you.

2. The angels are rejoicing.

3. And we believe God has a purpose for your life.

Would you let us know that you made a decision so that we can follow up with you and help you on your next step